Dew on a Bug's Eye

We are all a reflection

of one soul.

Each person represents

a different piece, shaped

into human, twisted

into physicality, made

of the universe. All

which you see is the

same as you.

Gather round the

sun. Disperse unto the

light. Take shape again,

like the fog, forming dew on a

bugs, eye.

Yes, one of my own. I found this picture after I wrote it. They go great together? Don't they?

I want to get close & closer. Those eyes! Am I looking at gateway to another world. No, it's my world, just a perspective I'v never seen.

What would it be like, to just be a shell? It seems so small, so hallow, but it's not, it lives.

To have the elements touch you in such a different way....

The eyes say, "I am made from the same things as you. I am of the same energy, small yes, but in importance huge. I am the fuel & the feed to birds & the great circle of life. Make as beautiful as the treasures of man"

Dreams...

(My grandpa was rough around the edges but I knew his soft sides. 

He had a heart of gold, a soul of steal & worked hard for all he had. 

He had 8 kids too, my daddy is his oldest. 

He loved my grandma Bonnie, I pray my marriage will be as full of love.)

I dreamed of my grandpa last night, my gramps...he passed 2 weeks ago.

I hadn't seen him in over a yr, we lived 1300 miles apart. I was his little girl & he was my gramps. When I got my freedom (aka license) when I lived in California, I would see them as much as possible. I cherish those days, relaxing on the back porch with my grandparents & drinking Dr. Peppers. To this day when I drink one it takes me back... When he did pass, I was overwhelmed with guilt & sadness. I wanted one last visit with him...last night, I got it.

I drifted to sleep, then I dreamed of him & my grandparents little farm house.Each time I went back to sleep I dreamed of my grandparent's house. At one point I was dreaming within my dream. Thats when I saw him. My grandpa, younger than I had ever seen him, with a blue pearl snap & his eyes were gleaming beautiful blue. I told him,

"I wish I could have seen you one last time."

He hugged me & said,

"It's ok babe."

I looked up dreaming within a dream, this is what it read;

"To dream you are having a dream indicates more awareness in the dream state. When you become aware that you are dreaming, you can take control and ask any question you want." 

I looked up the color blue, which represents spirituality.

It was so real I could smell him. I got to hear him, feel him & see him. I feel at peace. Who knows what dreams are, or if they mean a thing. I've never fallen back asleep & continually re-dreamed the same subject. Last night gave me peace. I got to see my gramps.

(Here is my grandpa fishing at Folsom Lake. 

It's grown so much there, Folsom California, but he stayed country & didn't sell out to million dollar offers. 

His little farm is surrounded my mansions.)

(My dad is placing a flower on his grave. He had full military honors.)

If you are interested in dreams, here is the book I use to decipher them;

My little sister is gay

Today, this week, these decisions to come are monumental. Why? One reason, which I have NO choice in, my little sister is GAY. Savannah Louise Hensley, she's the second in a line of four girls & I'm her oldest sister. This weeks decisions are so very dear to me.

Savannah has always been gay. 

Savannah was born gay. 

(I'm on the left, Savvy's on the right)

In elementary school she played football with the boys, as a child she was the "husband" when we played house & she wore ninja turtle pants without a shirt. She was an innocent child, who had no notion of what was straight, & what wasn't. She was just a little girl.

My parents never told her "this is for boys & that is for girls." Talking to my dad about this, he said, it never crossed his mind that his little tomboy was gay. He "just loved her." This is why I love my parents. Not that it wasn't hard, when she came out in a small town, the rumors & prejudices took hold.  Thank goodness for the support & the many caring people who acted as angels & showed only love.

Savannah struggled, how can you not, in a world where hatred is directed at gay people? My parents never talk negative about anyone or anything. "Each to his own" is thier motto. They are open hearted, open minded; yet, Savannah still struggled. It took therapy for her to finally come out. We loved her even more & we all truly accepted her for who she really was.

She's a graduate of UC Berkeley, she works with mentally ill adults & has done amazing things for humanity & gay rights. She has a pure heart & everyday of her life she makes lives of other's better. Don't judge her for being gay, judge her on her actions. I know, you'll find no need of it, for she is a wonderful person. If you're reading this & passing judgment, get over yourself, she's my little sister, you DONT know her, so how in the world do you have any room to judge someone you've never met?

         (November 2012. Amee flew me & Savannah's best friend Andrea into their town as a    surprise for Savannah's birthday. From left to right; Andrea, Lila, me, Jeana, Savannah & Amee. The four in the middle are all us sisters)

Savannah is with the love of her life, Amee. They've been together about as long as I have been married. I met Amee years before her & Savannah were a couple at her job. At the time she was dating a mutual friend of ours. I remember thinking Amee was drop dead gorgeous, which she is, & remember her being extremely shy. To an extent that it was a little strange. After Amee swept my little sister off her feet, we learned that she was, even then, madly in love with Savannah. Thats why she was so terribly shy. I laugh at the thought. Amee loves my sister to the same extent that I love my husband. To know this brings me such peace. Such happiness, they are soul mates, perfect for one another in every way, same as Caleb & I. Love is a beautiful thing, a natural thing, you cant help who you love.

I live in Texas, I see too much prejudice & hatred. Mostly in the name of God, it's horrible. I'm lucky that the man I married is none of the above. My children will be raised with an open heart & an open mind. They will understand that being gay is not a choice, not for their Aunt Savannah at least. They will love her & love others, be kind, be humble, be open.

These decisions are not only for Savannah & Amee, they are for Laurel. That my daughter will live in a world were marriage is between people who love each other.  Where freedom can wave its flag, forever in gloriousness! Where justice & equality are extended to all the people of the United States of America. That's what these decisions are, they are my heart, my soul, my little sister.

Today Laurel and I sat on the front porch and husked corn. It's a simple pleasure plus a learning exersize for Laurel. Next time you're going to cook corn let the kids be hands on. Enjoy the day, enjoy life, husk some corn.

Laurel is 3

      My sweet baby girl turned 3. Motherhood has been more then I ever could have imagined. Laurel is the sweetest little girl. I have never met another like her. She is truly grateful, yes, at 3 she says thank you and means it. I don't know how I got so lucky. I am blessed.

       We are working on number 2. Laurel needs a sibling. A life-long companion. I want a girl. I came from 4 girls. I am literally obsessed with all things "sister." On the morning news I had watched a story on people with sisters, and those without. The people with sisters had happier healthier lives then those who didn't. I believe it, sisters make the world go round, at least in my case. If Laurel gets a little brother, oh man, the fun begins! I wouldn't know what to do with a boy! LOL really, I'm scared of 'em. They love to get dirty & play with bugs & play with their little winers all day long! Let #2 life adventure begin!

      Happy 3rd birthday my sweet Laurel Belle! What life has in store is nothing short of beautiful! I'm so lucky to be sharing my it with you.

Hello 2013. We've made it. We're breathing. I'm here with everything, above and below, all the Worlds mysteries.

Cornbread and honey-butter. The dogs are on the kitchen floor.  Spaz you crazy American Tuxedo! Your personality hasn't evaded even 1 visitor of this home. He ate Laurel's cornbread...Silly Spazzer. Where would we be without you? :) Even if you do drive me nuts
Snow is on the ground in West Texas. YAY!  Thinking of Marfa...I feel you out there on the high plains. For now, we're here, progress in our marriage. Progress in the oil fields of America. Welcome 2013

The BEST

Love my juicer. Here is the juicer I bought from Amazon.com
http://amzn.to/UEQjBH